why is it so hard to talk to people?

or something like that...



-Sorry Mr. Derick, I cant remember the question-


Wait, before I start writing, I just want to say that I LOVE '1000 years of good prayers'...(thanx for the heads up hany). I dont know why people said it was so boring and heck, somebody even warned me to bring food when I wanted to watch the movie..because I might fall asleep.


So I brought food
and drinks
and extra pillows..
hot chocolate too
and napoleon~


I think the movie is very adorable and sad because it made me cry..
hahaha
I regreted writing that...but never mind, I'll live.

Why is it SO hard to talk to people?
why
why
why
why
why?
honestly, I think it is because of unfamiliarity.. (I hope that word exists) and indifference amongst two people that causes awkward conversations and angry silences.

ececece

ehem..., moving on-


I have never been a great talker. But Im a great listener, to an extent. Somehow in conversations, I prefer being the one with the intent stare and obedient noddings rather than the one with their mouths getting busy. I dont really have a specific reason as to why I find it so difficult to talk to people. There's always the reason 'because I dont want to..' but that would make me seem so rude and obnoxious...which Im not.


In the movie, Yilan finds it hard to talk to her father because of her perception of his character, past experiences of her silent childhood and she feels that her father would not understand whatever it is she's going through. period.


I partially blame the father for the neglection he'd given her when she was young, and I also blame the daughter for mistreating her father which happens to be very old and very fragile. Older people take things too personally sometimes, even if it is personal...


For example, Im extracting my own personal experience with my grandmother, two years ago.
You see, my parents were in mecca and grandma was sent to the house to take care of us. etc,etc.. and in the end, me and grams were in a really bad disagreement and I hated it when Im the cause of the disagreement. She thinks she is caring, but Im suffocating. She's not mum and I was trying to prove her that. She cant understand why I dont want to be around her as much but I cant tell her that I need my own space because she wont get it.

So, two years later, as in now.. me and grams is still in this really awkward position where I cant be in the same room with her, let alone have a real conversation with her. Maybe thats why the movie had a very appealing taste to me. It reminded me a lot about me and the people in my life. I kind of created a scene on my own, in my head, as I watch the movie..and how much those two characters reminded me of myself and dad. There's a whole other story as to how me and dad grew awkward with each other. In conclusion?.. I.am.a.bad.person.


Difference in age makes it hard to start a conversation. We dont get them. They dont get us.

Bitter experiences refraines conversations too, because we know who the other person is, and how they made us feel.

Insecurity blocks sincerity because the other person is a stranger to us. And the stranger could be a rapist, a doctor, a player, and even a salesman.

Culture. and some more culture. Its hard to believe culture is blamed for the changes all of us are going through. The generation has changed and the world is tangled up in one another and sacrifices must be made.

Opening up makes us vulnerable and it could hurt us. There's too much pain in this world and some people just cant bear it any longer. Somehow, self-confinement is a more popular option.

Lazy-ness is a factor. And Im up for it 100%.
:)


So, thats it.
thats is why its hard to talk to people~